Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
