smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize