Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
