p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
