Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
