In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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