i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize