Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
