I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
