was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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