I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
