why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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