I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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