There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
