i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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