I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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