i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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