i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
