No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
