K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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