Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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