I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
