About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I had to cum in my sink.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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