And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
