Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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