i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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