I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
