note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
did you just send me my own nude
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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