i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize