ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
