i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
