Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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