I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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