She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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