I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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