how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
