After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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