I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
