whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
