MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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