I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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