shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
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we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
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i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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