Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
