If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize