Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay

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(646): My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay http://tfl.nu/aqwf

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal

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(405): Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal http://tfl.nu/vikg

Replies (12) Good night (1406) Bad night (636)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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(405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm

Replies (27) Good night (648) Bad night (3389)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.

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(978): They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people. http://tfl.nu/oty8

Replies (46) Good night (7469) Bad night (1516)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins

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(856): are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins http://tfl.nu/byok

Replies (16) Good night (3890) Bad night (1317)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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(615): I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/yesg

Replies (20) Good night (4336) Bad night (1043)
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(813): View more from Florida

Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.

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(813): Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y5hs

Replies (7) Good night (2300) Bad night (802)
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(903): View more from Texas

Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up

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(903): Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up http://tfl.nu/zu39

Replies (5) Good night (1277) Bad night (600)
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(869): View more from St.Kitts and Nevis-Carib

I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.

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(869): I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible. http://tfl.nu/0c9k

Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (838)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers

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(+44): I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers http://tfl.nu/zya2

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.

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(503): Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too. http://tfl.nu/9ocy

Replies (6) Good night (1653) Bad night (414)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.

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(412): he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone. http://tfl.nu/v1cu

Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (310)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...

(301): View more from Maryland

Umm

(240): View more from Maryland

Exactly.

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(240): Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor... (301): Umm (240): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/dkql

Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (572)
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(513): View more from Ohio

DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.

(504): View more from Louisiana

NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS

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(513): DIBS ON THE NEW GUY. (504): NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS http://tfl.nu/z4ea

Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (333)
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(219): View more from Indiana

The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.

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(219): The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC. http://tfl.nu/ehhb

Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (172)

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