Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you

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  (818): my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you http://tfl.nu/x2i9
  Replies (30) Good night (5906) Bad night (923)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...

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  (502): you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty... http://tfl.nu/96t1
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (3518)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.

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  (405): That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi. http://tfl.nu/2rin
  Replies (15) Good night (998) Bad night (3791)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.

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  (708): so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened. http://tfl.nu/8b76
  Replies (34) Good night (3780) Bad night (1744)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".

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  (412): He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up". http://tfl.nu/5shs
  Replies (39) Good night (11322) Bad night (1864)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm never eating chinese again.

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  (215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8
  Replies (11) Good night (808) Bad night (4392)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?

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  (301): Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm? http://tfl.nu/94o0
  Replies (11) Good night (1591) Bad night (3431)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

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  (610): you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us? http://tfl.nu/gp4k
  Replies (5) Good night (4057) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.

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  (818): He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore. http://tfl.nu/r68q
  Replies (14) Good night (4084) Bad night (862)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.

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  (828): I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/gg69
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (2092)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is

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  (248): I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is http://tfl.nu/r4l9
  Replies (9) Good night (4300) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.

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  (315): The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me. http://tfl.nu/qtoi
  Replies (6) Good night (1375) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life

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  (412): And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life http://tfl.nu/4nsr
  Replies (6) Good night (861) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame

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  (303): Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/4ytk
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  Tequila.

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  (479): Know anything about my roof collapsing last night? (1-479): Tequila. http://tfl.nu/3wq7
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (225)

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