i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.