You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand