that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
