I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize