I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
