I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
