I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
