hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
