White coat. Heels.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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