Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
