will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
