Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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