so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
