umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Spotify says Iām in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didnāt know I would peak this early.
Arenāt you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize