barbara walters just said penis...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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