turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
