I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
