I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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