please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
