and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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